All I never deserved
by Krazy Katieness
Summary: Young Katharine just wanted to end it all, ever since her accident. She never expected to be sent into the anime past and meet her favourite characters. She never planned to fall in love with a certain earl. Oc/myselfXCiel Oc/my friendXSebastian rating may vary. The picture is Katharine
1. Chapter 1

"Dū mạn pĕn hỵing sāw pælk. (Look, it's the weird girl)"

"Wiṭhī thī̀ ṭhex ca dị pị dị pị reīyn thī̀ rongreīyn nı wạn nī kảlạng mxng hā wiṭhī thī̀ ṭhex khụx? (How could she have even gone to school today, looking the way she is)"

"Ṭhex prahlād dạng kl̀āw. (She's such a freak)"

"Chạn mị̀ sāmārth cheụx ẁā chạn khey xxk pị kạb ṭhex mæ krathạ̀ng k̀xn keid xubạtihetu. (I can't believe I ever went out with her, even before the accident)"

I felt like I wanted to cry. Everyone's so mean.

"Sī tā khxng ṭhex khụx mụd keinpị Phm hmāy thụng dwngtā sī fā pĕn sī thī̀ mị̀ khey! Læa pid tā thī̀ ḥa Tā khxng ṭhex ca txng swy ǹā kelīyd. (Her eye colour is too dark. I mean, blue eyes are never that colour! And that eye patch, huh. Her eye must be pretty hideous)"

I unconsciously placed a hand on my eye patch. Why? They're so cruel. At least the teachers are nice to me. Oh, sorry. My name is Katharine Kosounwanchana and I live in Thailand. In this school, everyone treats me like an outcast. Before the accident, I had lots of friends. I had a nice boyfriend. Then the accident... It ruined everything, my whole life. I keep on an optimistic, happy façade though. No need to worry. Not anymore, anyways. My mum and dad separated 3 days after the accident. Mum got custody of me and we moved to Thailand when I was 9. Now I am 13. My mother died a year after we got to Thailand. I used to live in Scotland. Everyone heard about my accident Everything then went downhill from then.

School went past slowly and painfully. I've recieved some bruises and cuts but they're not too serious. I'm used to it. Then it was time to go. I walked out the gates and made my way home. It was a bit of a walk but not too far. The heat was almost unbearable but I can tolerate things quite well. 4 years I've put up with this. 4 long years. I unlocked my door and went in.

"I give up..." I whispered. I trudged upstairs, dropping my bag on the floor. Yes, I have finally given up.

I'm so tired of everything. I know it sounds stupid but, hey. You'd probably do this if you had to put up with this for so long. I slammed open the door to my room and opened a cupboard. I grabbed the pills and ran to my bed. Everyone was going to have a celebration. I tugged my dress lightly(Today was a Wear-Anything day) and sat on the dark blue covers. I placed a hand on my dark grey eye patch gently. My right eye (the uncovered one) darted around as I opened the bottle and tipped the pills onto my hand. Then, I swallowed them and lay back and shut my eyes. Then... All I could hear were voices. Then it was nothing.

"Miss, wake up."

I grumbled and tuned onto my side.

"Mmmmm, five more minutes, Mum. The heat is still killing me." I mumbled. There was a chuckle.

"Heat? My dear, today it is sunny with a light breeze. What are you talking about?"

"Good joke." I said, eye still shut. "It's boiling like normal, Mum." The person chuckled again.

"I am not your mother, miss." My eye snapped open. It was a guy's voice. I quickly sat up. I wasn't in my room. Then I looked to my right to see a guy. He wore a black attire that looked like something a butler would wear. His hair was raven black and his eyes, they were so weird. Blood red.

"Where am I? Who are you?" I gasped. "Am I actually dead?" He released another laugh.

"No. You are in the Phantomhive Manor. I shall offer you our best hospitality." He bowed with his right hand over his heart. I blinked my visible eye. Then I quickly reached up to my left eye to feel the material. Thank lord. My eye patch is still there. Wait, Phantomhive?

"Phantomhive?" I blinked then began thinking. "Phantomhive Phantomhive. Phantomhive..." I can't remember. Wait!

"Would you like breakfast?" He asked. I looked up.

"What year is this?" I questioned. I hope I'm wrong.

"It is 1888, miss." He smiled. Everything came crashing down. 1888? No. No, how? Why? I just wanted to end it all? Why? "Are you alright, miss?" I glanced up and blinked.

"No. How did I get here?" I shook my head. "Sorry, how rude of me. My name is Katharine Kosounwanchana."

"Well, miss Kosounwanchana, we found you in the garden amongst the flowers." He said. "I am Sebastian Michaelis." He bowed once again.

"Mr Sebastian..." I looked down. Then I looked up. "I know things. Things that... shouldn't be known in this time." Sebastian' s smile disappeared.

"What do you mean, miss Kosounwanchana? What time?" He asked. I felt like he needed to know because, you know, he IS the awesome demon.

"The future." I watched his eyes grow slightly wide then his smirk return.

"I know." Sebastian replied. "It seems a portal has taken you here."

"A portal? No, I should've... the pills... It's not possible, is it?" I blinked. Surely not.

"Anything's possible, miss Kosounwanchana. And pills? What should have happened to you?" Sebastian, for once, looked confused. Or kerfuzzled(for those who are awesomely crazy ^^).

"Pills, they should have... I should have... I can't be..." I frowned. "... Alive..."

"'Alive'? You mean you attempted... Oh my." Sebastian shook his head. I looked down, ashamed. Suddenly the door opened and a cherry-haired maid ran in.

"Hello, I'm Mey-rin and I'm here to help you, yes I am." She smiled. I smiled back. Well, this won't be so bad. Sebastian spoke.

"I shall leave." He bowed then exited. Mey-rin is nice but clumsy. I watched as she panicked, not knowing what to do.

"I would like to go see your master, please." That's when Mey-rin began fretting over me. Come on, I know the anime so I know what his attitude is like.

()

Me: I'll make a pic of her. Review!


	2. Chapter 2

She finally gave in and led me to Ciel's study. I knocked and heard the 'come in'. That British accent is so cute. I walked in and Ciel gestured for me to sit. I complied and stared.

"Chess?" He gestured to the chess board. I nodded. We began to play.

"Sebastian must have told you what I told him, I presume?" I said, glancing up at the earl.

"Yes." Everything was silent for a bit. "Why did you attempt suicide?" Wow, blunt much?

"... everything went horrible." I said, moving another chess piece.

"How?" He asked.

"Do you really want to know?"

"If I didn't then why would I ask?" He has a point. I took a breath and began.

"It started with the accident. I can remember it as clear as the day. I was walking home from school in Scotland. A lorry went by really quickly. It crashed right next to me into a shop and a large broken piece of glass wedged into my eye. I had to go to hospital. That's why my eye patch is there." I frowned then continued. "Three days later my mother and father divorced. Mother got the custody of me and we moved to Thailand, where she originally came from. Word spread fast about what happened and I was an outcast. Then we had a transfer student from Scotland. It was my boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend. He also called me a freak of nature. Then a year later, mother died from a heart attack. You see, she worked 5 difficult jobs a day. I was alone and had to do everything at a young age. Three years later and I gave up. I took the pills, hoping I'd be gone but then I end up here. That's the story." Most of it.

"You've been through a lot..." He mumbled. I nodded.

"At least you still have people around you." I said. A while later and Ciel won. I was close but not close enough. "This was fun, Lord Phantomhi-"

"Call me Ciel." He cut me off. I nodded.

"Lo-Ciel, I was wondering if I could earn my keep and work as a maid." I said. His visible eye looked at me.

"I guess you could. I hope you're not as clumsy as Mey-Rin." I giggled and smiled.

"Don't worry, I'll keep her right." I rose to my feet and shook his hand. "It was a pleasure to play with you, Ciel." He raised my hand to his lips and placed a soft, tender kiss on the back. I blushed. What a gentleman.

"It was a pleasure to play with you too. Perhaps we may do this again another time?" He smirked. I blushed a bit darker.

"O-of course. I'd love t-to." I smiled gently. "U-um, if it's not too much trouble..." Ciel looked up at me. "I would really... really like to be your friend. If that's alright with you." I mentally shook my head. No. I'm supposed to be alone in the world. But then again, this isn't the reality world. Maybe I can find a friend. Maybe in this, supposedly, cold-hearted earl.

"I would like that too, miss Kosounwanchana."

"Please, just call me Katharine." I insisted. "Miss Kosounwanchana makes me feel old."

"Of course, Katharine." I curtsied and then exited the room, walking down the halls. I mean, how big could this place be? It's gotta be easy to find my way around.

Correction. It was VERY hard! I'm lost somewhere in, I think, the west wing and I can see so many doors and corridors and hallways that it's crazy. I sighed and leaned against the wall. My back slid down so I was sitting on the floor. I wrapped my arms around my knees and tucked my legs into my chest. I don't like being alone. It really really sucks.

"Ho ho ho." I looked up and saw Tanaka. That's good! He can help me.

"Mr Tanaka, will you please help me? It seems I've gotten myself lost." I smiled at the old chibified man.

"Ho ho ho." He walked in a direction. I quickly stood up.

"H-hey! Please wait up Mr Tanaka!" I called and walked after him. We went down many corridors and past any doors. Wow, this was starting o hurt my head. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I bumped into someone. "Eep!" I cried and fell on my butt. "Ow, that hurt." I mumbled, standing up and slightly bending over to rub my backside. I glanced up and saw a flash of white. Then I was on the ground.

"Arf!" I looked up to see Pluto in dog form. He was fricken huge! How did he fit into the manor!?

"Erm, hello Pluto." I said, awkwardly patting his head. He barked and licked my face. He was adorable but now I need a shower since I'm drenched in dog drool. I looked up and saw Sebastian. "Please help me." I said. He sighed but lifted the dog up. Now, I know he's really strong but to see that up front is awesome! I stood up and looked down at my soaking wet dress. "I really need a bath..." I muttered.

"I shall draw you a bath, Miss Kosounwanchana." Sebastian bowed and we made our way to my room. I waited for the bath to be done and for Sebastian to leave. Come on, I'm not gonna have help to wash myself, from a GUY nonetheless. I mean, come on! I'm 13! If he even offers... God, that pedo. Not as much as Claude though. CLAUDE is the real pedo. No offence, Claude fans, but he is kind of obsessed with Ciel. Sebastian walked back out. I rose to my feet.

"Thank you, Sebastian." I smiled. He nodded and exited the room. Yay, no pedo question! I quickly went into the bathroom and removed my clothes. I placed them on a chair neatly and eased myself into the bath. I sighed and relaxed my muscles. It felt nice. I sighed and slowly slid down until the water touched my chin.

I need a miracle, I wanna be your girl, give me a chance to see that you were made for m-

I grabbed my iPhone from the floor where it fell. It was alive? Oh my Lord!

Kathryn: Heeey spazzy friend! Been too long!

I gasped. I still have a friend! And she's in the reality world! Wait..., the reality world? Oh my God.

Me: hi, Kathy! Way too long.

Kathryn: I hope your eye is fine.

Me: yeah, I'm still wearing the eye patch.

Kathryn: Where are you? I want to see you again. I missed you. :'(

It's been so long since I recieved kind words from an old friend.

Me:If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.

Kathryn: ... Are you stuck in the anime world of Kuroshitsuji?

I gasped. How did she know?

Me: how did you know?

Kathryn: yeeeah, about that..

Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. Mey-rin walked in.

"U-um, Mr Sebastian requested that I'd help you, Miss Kosounwanchana." She said. I nodded and she shut the door. I continued texting as she began to wet my hair, put in soap and rub it into my brown locks. My phone rang again and I looked on the screen.

Kathryn: I'm kinda stuck here as well.

Me: What?! Where?

Kathryn: Well, I am soon gonna be...

Me: Gonna be where?!

Water splashed over my hair, washing out the soap. I moved my iPhone away so it wouldn't get wet and short-circuit. Her fingers ran through my hair, rinsing out the soap suds.

"What is that in your hand, miss Kosounwanchana?" Mey-rin asked.

"My IPhone." I replied. She stayed quiet while cleansing my hair. We were done and she held up a towel, waiting. I felt embarrassed to stand up. "E-erm, I feel a bit..." I trailed off. She nodded and covered her eyes while I stood up and grabbed the towel, wrapping it around my body. She looked and took my clothes to wash. I went into my room and dried off. I glanced at the clothes and blinked at the corset. Oh God. I quickly put on some underclothes and Mey-rin came in. She held up the corset.

Before I knew I was up against the wall in pain as she tightened the corset.

"A-ah!" I cried out. "M-Mey-in, that's sore! It hurts! Why is it so tight?!"

"It's supposed to be tight, Miss Kosounwanchana." She replied.

"A-ah! These must be made t-to kill people!" Then it was tied. I could barely breath. "How can you breath in these?"

"We're used to it miss." Mey-rin replied. I sighed as she walked out and I slipped on the dress. Oh my Lord it was blue! And poofy... I twirled in the mirror. It was nice but a bit... too lacy. I ran to the drawers and searched them to find a pair of scissors. I began removing all the lace and cut the skirt to my knees. Then I made a few changes with the material and sewing kit and I was done. There was a knock.

"Are you done?" I heard Mey-rin called.

"Yes." She walked in and stared in surprise at my dress but didn't question me. She led me downstairs and I saw Ciel and Sebastian at the front. They blinked in surprise at my dress. Is everyone gonna do that? My IPhone rang.

Pina colada boy you make the girls go ah~ and when the sun goes down you make my world spin aro-

"Moshi moshi?" Yeah, I do the Japanese thing. I put up a finger, mouthing 'one minute'.

"KitKat?" I heard Kathryn's voice. My mouth quickly moved into a smile.

"Kathy! Hey! Where are you?"

"Open the door."

"Huh?" I blinked. "Why?"

"Just do it, please." I could practically hear the smile on her face.

"Okay, I guess." I walked to the door and opened it then-

"KITKAAAAAT!" I was attacked by something. I fell to the floor with an 'omph'. I blinked up and well what do you know? It's my ash brunette friend!

"Kathy! It's been too long!" I sat up and hugged her. She hugged me back.

"Way too long!" Then she pulled away then she gently touched the eye patch. I watched as her face twisted in concentration. "It was painful." She said. "I could tell. Remember, I was there. Your cries of excruciating agony was..." She shook her head and then hugged me. "I missed yu!"

"I missed you too! How about the others?" I asked.

"About them... the only people who did miss you were Sarah and Emma. Oh, and me." She gave me a sad look. I looked down.

"Not even... him?"

"No. I'm sorry." She frowned and I suddenly remembered the others. I looked up.

"Um, Lord Pha- I mean, Ciel, this is my friend Kathryn." I introduced. Kathryn's eyes sparkled as she looked at Sebastian.

"Hello! May I work here, Lord Phantomhive?" She said eagerly. Ciel sighed and rubbed his head, probably getting a headache.

"Since you're a friend of Katharine's, sure." He said. We grinned but then I noticed she was wearing her cosplay outfit of Hatsune Miku (without the wig though).

"Dress-down day?"

"Yup."

"That's co-hey. Where's my dress?" I blinked. Kathryn looked at me.

"Your special event one?" She asked.

"Yes." I nodded. I heard three pairs of footsteps scattered and panicked sounds. I looked up to see the three servants. Finny, Mey-rin and Bardroy. They looked very worried.

"Wh-what did it look like?" Bardroy asked.

"It was blue and red with ruffles on the right shoulder and would go down to my knees." I explained. Another panicked sound. They stood in front of a door.

"Just what are you three hiding?" Kathryn's eyes narrowed.

"N-NOTHING!" They screamed. I walked towards them and with half of my strength, I shoved them away from the door and my eyes widened. My arms went limp at my sides.

"My dress... my _dress_!" I cried out. It was completely torn. It was barely fixable. No. It belonged to mother! Tears welled up in my eyes and I hugged the neared person to me, which was Ciel. "Uwa, Ciel!" I cried sadly. "My dress! My dress! It bewanged twa meh maver! A-awnd naows itshe geajn!"

"What was she just saying?" Ciel asked in confusion. Oh yeah. Basically, I just spoke in crying language.

"Her dress used to belong to her mother and now it's gone." Kathryn said. I cried harder as she said how that all I had left now was was a ring. Mother's wedding ring. I clutched Ciel's shirt tightly. He just stared, not knowing what to do but he rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"Th-there there?" He said.

"Wait, Sebastian can fix it, right?" I quickly brightened up. I quickly ran to Sebastian.

"Mr Sebastian, will you please fix i-wait." I turned to Kathryn. "How do we have WiFi or even INTERNET connection on our phones!"

"... be... cause we're magical?" She suggested. I looked back at Sebastian.

"Please?" He looked at Ciel who smiled at me

"Sebastian, fix her dress." He ordered. I grinned and then hugged Ciel.

"Oh, thank you!" I haven't shown this personality ever since the accident. Is this where I'll gain a new life? I do hope so.

()

Me: Thank you for the support! Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

I let out a giggle as Kathryn went to lie down on the bed on the left. I sat on the bed on the right.

"I wished you were always with me but," I continued. "If you were then we would've never been here. This is amazing. A new life." Kathryn nodded, brown eyes closed.

"Yeah. Say, how did you get here? I wished to be with my best friend." She asked, glancing at me. I frowned and turned to look at her.

"..." I sighed. "... Pills. I guess someone took pity on me and sent me here for some reason."

"Was school that bad?" Kathryn questioned. I nodded.

"Yeah... but that's the past. We're somewhere far away from that. We're gonna have new lives, Kathryn. Trust me." I heard footsteps and blinked as the door was opened and a certain woman came in. Oh lord. Nina Hopkins. That woman that touchy-feelys people. What the hell is she doing here?

"What the hell is she doing here?" Kathryn said. Ciel and Sebastian came in.

"She's here to make you some clothing." Ciel said simply. Oh god. And she was looking at us with weird, creepy glints in her eye. We all followed her as she walked some place. I glanced at Ciel.

"I hope she does not gonna 'touchy-feely' Kathryn and I..." I mumbled. Nina grinned and looked at me. I backed up slowly but she just grabbed me and pulled me up. I squeaked each time she measured me.

"Hmmm, let's remove this." She removed my shirt and I squealed.

"AIIIIIE!" I quickly wrapped my arms to cover my bra-clad torso. My eyes squeezed shut and I heard Kathryn snicker. I sent a small glare at her. "Sh-shut up!" I hissed.

"No no no, that won't do! Raise your arms!" Nina demanded.

"E-EH!?" I blushed. "Wh-why?"

"I can't measure your proper bust size, Miss Kosounwanchana." Nina shook her head and raised my arms up and away from my chest. I blushed furiously. Then she shook her head. "NOOOOOOOO! No no no! Remove that bit of clothing so I can measure you properly!"

"I-I'll just tell you what size I am! That's got to be easier." I said. I leaned close and whispered it. Then she blinked in confusion.

"B cup? What is that?"

"SHHHHH!" I hissed. Kathryn began laughing. I felt very embarrassed and just said. "Can we just go behind that screen thingie?" I pointed at it. Nina sighed but nodded. We went behind the screen and finished the rest of the measurements. Then it was Kathryn's turn. I giggled as she was measured. It was funny seeing her shoot back remarks about how her dignity shall still be intact. It was funny. We were done so we decided to wait by listening to music on my IPhone. I played Oh My Juliet (a Japanese song. It's amazing). We began dancing as we listened to the beat.

"Hey, why is this song so awesome?" Kathryn asked as we continued dancing.

"I don't know." I shrugged and saw Ciel and Sebastian staring. I grinned and grabbed Ciel's hand and pulled him forward. I Belgian dancing with him ad the chorus came up. Those voices always sounded sexy at the chorus part. Hey, don't give me that look! You can't deny it. I continued to move, Ciel copying. Not like he had a choice :3 Kathryn also dragged Sebastian out to and forced him to dance. It was fun. And funny to watch the two dance. The song was finished and Nina ran in.

"They are done!" She struck a pose. I laughed and we went through to try the clothes. Kathryn was the first out and she did a funny pose. It was a pink Lolita dress(yes, Kathryn. It's your real Lolita dress).

"I love it!" She squealed and hugged Nina who nodded with approval. I put on the black mini skirt, black pumps and light blue t shirt with only one strap on the right shoulder and walked out, posing.

"It gives me the ability to move freely." I said and grinned. Nina nodded then shoved Kathryn and I behind the screen. I stared at our maid outfits, which were ones. Mine was a dark navy blue and Kathryn's was black. The lace on mine was the same navy blue and Kathryn's was black. We slipped them on.

"Get ready to witness the two sexiest models ever!" Kathryn jokingly announced as I played On My Radar by Britney Spears. Kathryn ran out first and struck a pose. I followed and we then bot did a sexy pose. Nina clapped happily while Ciel and Sebastian stared. Then Nina looked at my skirt.

"No!" She tore it apart. I screamed and quickly sat down and crossed my legs. "It's not short enough! It's not the same as Miss Douglas's! I must make it again!"

"Did she have to tear it?" I asked as she quickly worked on the skirt.

"I-" Ciel coughed. "I don't think so." I huffed and watched as Kathryn began talking with Sebastian, a faint blush on her cheeks. Oh yeah. She has an anime crush on Sebastian! Ooooh! Match maker Kitten is ready!

"I think we should play match maker, Ciel." I grinned and pointed at Sebastian and Kathryn. He grew a mischievous look.

"That's a good idea, Katharine." He grinned.

"Really? You'll actually do this with me?" I was very hopeful. He nodded. "Oh yay! Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!" I was so happy that I kissed his cheek. He flushed red.

_Kathryn's POV_

I heard Kitty squeal and looked over to see her place a kiss on Ciel's cheek. I grinned. Awww, how cute. I looked at Sebastian and continued talking.

"And so, will you make some parfait for me?" I used my puppy dog eyes. Sebastian nodded. Yay! I'm gonna get some parfait! I sprinted to Kitty and hugged her. "Hallo, luv birds!" I greeted casually.

"Kathy!" Kitty exclaimed in embarrassment. Ciel blushed. LE GASP! Does he fancy my best friend? YES HE DOES! I grabbed his arm ad dragged him away to talk with him.

"Ciel, you like my friend, yes?" I demanded quietly. He blushed.

"A-and why would you think that?" He asked.

"I saw you blushing. Yuuu like her!" I teased. He looked away.

"So what? You like Sebastian."

"..." damn he got me. "Not the point. It's an awesome romance!" I said like the little Cray Cray girl I am.

_Back to Katharine' s POV n_

I sighed. Kathryn knows I like him! I hope she isn't hinting it. I looked at Sebastian and threatened.

You hurt Kathryn and I swear I will tear you limb from limb." I glared as he smirked.

"... Of course, Miss Kosounwanchana." He nodded and Kathryn came running to me. She hugged me and we realised what time it was and damn, we were sleepy. We walked away and bid them good night and made our way to our room. We changed into night clothes and slid into bed. I glanced at Kathryn and smiled.

"Night, Kathy."

"Night Kitty."

()

Me: short, yeah, but I'm just being awesome lel X)


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